h1

Handing over the reins.

October 28, 2010

Took a bit step today. Up until now, I’ve been “topping from the bottom.” Belle and I have been doing a lot of talking about what I want out of chastity and I have basically been leading the way. This has been helpful in getting us both acclimated to our roles in this wonderful little game.

Belle is timid. She has always been timid and I thought she always would be. Over the past couple of days, I have seen her coming out of her shell a bit. 🙂

Yesterday was a bad day for her. Totally unrelated to anything this blog entails, it was just a bad day. Up until yesterday, I have gotten some type of stimulation, no matter how small, every night. Last night, I held my wife, listened to her vent, and we fell asleep. Guess what? I woke up this morning! What is even more remarkable is that my penis is still there and from what I can tell it has not suffered in any way. *shocked*

So anyway…the big step. I am surrendering ALL control of my sexual being over to my beloved keyholder. I will consider everything I get as a gift with no sense of entitlement. She does not need to feel pressured to do anything. This is not to say that I won’t initiate. If I think I can get her worked up, I will try. If I am told no, I will stop with no objections and no hurt feelings. If I start to feel neglected I will let her know. Otherwise, I wait for my cue to perform.

A lot of this may be common sense for those of you already living the lifestyle, but it is a big step for both of us and posting it here is just an affirmation for my own good.

Jnuts

2 comments

  1. I think you should watch out for the absolute words, viz:

    I’m surrendering ALL control of my sexual being over to my beloved keyholder. I will consider everything I get as a gift with no sense of entitlement.

    That’s great in theory but in reality? ALL control? Forever? I just feel like you are setting yourself up there a bit…

    She does not need to feel pressured to do anything. This is not to say that I won’t initiate. If I think I can get her worked up, I will try.

    If I might politely say, this sounds like you are still topping from the bottom. Just my two cents.

    D


    • That’s great in theory but in reality? ALL control? Forever? I just feel like you are setting yourself up there a bit…

      When we are playing the game, she will be in control. That isn’t to say that we won’t take breaks or that we are going to play forever.

      If I might politely say, this sounds like you are still topping from the bottom. Just my two cents.

      This is something we discussed from the beginning. She does not want to end up being the only one that ever initiates anything. She wants to control my orgasm first and foremost and then ideally most sexual activity as well. I am permitted to initiate, but she has say as to whether or not anything becomes of it. I have read where other couples do things this way and it does work out well. Also, we have found that many times, Belle needs warmed up a little prior to her even considering anything sexual. She wants it but she doesn’t know it yet so to speak. This will help with that as well. Ideally, my initiations will be few and far between.

      This isn’t to say that these rules won’t change in the future if necessary. Still figuring things out. I very much appreciate the insight!



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