It’s just another piece of jewelry….

November 1, 2010

or is it?

If you have read one of our previous blogs, you will know that instead of wearing the actual key to the lock to Jnuts’ CD I ordered a silver key pendant to be worn instead.   Well it arrived today.  I was excited to open the box, and it was pretty much what I had expected.  Putting it on was another story though.  The symbolism was clear to me, and although we have been using the honor system for several weeks and have a JB from MM on order, for some reason this silver key made everything seem frightfully real.  Don’t get me wrong, I want to continue our lifestyle of MC.  Yet I was so hesitant to show that outward symbol-WTF?

For me that necklace takes everything to another level.  I know that we are doing this because we both want to, and love the changes that we are already seeing in our relationship.  Yet when I look in the mirror I see a constant reminder.  It is thrilling yet weird at the same time.  I guess I am still struggling with the fact that MC is not a “normal” thing.  I have a degree in human behavior, worked in the field for over 10 years, and still have a hard time not being socially accepted.  It is not something that I care to admit, but the chastity lifestyle has a way of making you honest with yourself.  I have been taking the not overthinking things attitude, but for some reason today it has been harder to do than others.  Jnuts claims he loves the constant high, and last night even said that he may eventually want to go months at a time between orgasms.

This leads me to my next thing.  I have read several posts and blogs where the females say that they don’t care if their husband/significant other ever has an orgasm again.  I don’t understand this.  I am not talking about the keyholders who have no emotional connections to their “subs”, but rather the ones in committed relationships.  I want my husband to feel good, just like he wants me to feel good.  To say that I don’t care if he feels good seems cold to me.  Just my 2 cents.

Sorry for my unorganized rants tonight, fighting a migraine and 2 infant/toddlers have a way of messing up my logical thinking.



  1. I like your comment, “Chastity makes you honest.” It’s true. There are lots of things I sort of knew about myself (for ages) but chastity has made these explicit. There are other things that I have newly learned. It is really quite amazing. I don’t think we, as women, realize how totally wrapped up in/expected to subjugate ourselves to our man’s orgasm we are expected to be. Taking the first steps on the liberation path is quite freeing, isn’t it? In many ways, I envy you. You’re younger than me. On the other hand, at least I got to experience this freedom before I became to old and decrepit to enjoy it! LOL.

    One thing…don’t think of chastity as “not normal.” It is normal. Trouble is, many others haven’t discovered it. Think of it like orgasms for women. There are many women who go through their entire lives without experiencing an orgasm. Do that make make female orgasm “not normal?” No, it makes them (the non-orgasmic women) unfortunate for what they have missed. Think of MC the same way. You are lucky. The non-discoverers are missing out.


    • Excellent way to look at it!

  2. Great response Dev; too many people just don’t know…

  3. I caught on the “I don’t care if my husband ever has an orgasm again” notion in your post… I see that as meaning SO many different things.

    I have always had an interest in the mental tricks that athletes and others have used to bring themselves to peak performance. One of those things is positive self talk, and affirmations. Now, suppose a budding KH or Domme wants to encourage herself, and give herself permission to give her Husband what HE wants – denial and teasing. One affirmation she might give herself is “I don’t care if he orgasms”. That doesn’t necessarily mean she is uncaring, or even indifferent. It may actually be a sign that she is trying to let go of our cultural upbringing, which seems to be more centered on the male orgasm and the female one. It might be a way of pushing HERSELF to let go of some baggage, and give her husband what HE wants.

    Another thing that comes to mind is based on personality type. If you’re familiar with the Myers Briggs personality types, there are certain personality types that share a common thread in which the people tend to express themselves by exaggeration. I happen to be one of those! I have to constantly check myself and avoid over-stating things. So if an ENTP, like me, says “I don’t care if my Husband ever has another orgasm”, she might really mean “I’m trying to let go of the notion that my Husband must orgasm to be satisfied.”

    Of course, there are also those bitch-Domme types who say it that way, because it is part of the “Tease” in Tease and Denial. Some subs are turned on by that sort of indifferent posturing. I personally find it a turn-off. I would very MUCH like my Wife to care about my orgasms, even if by caring she was withholding them! ;-p

    Then again, there are those who really DON’T care. I suspect they’re the minority, though.


  4. What mikecb said! And then some! He has articulated the most likely reasons for the not caring attitude perfectly.

    My wife and I fall into the tease category for example. Although she will say it with an obvious amused look that doesn’t take it too seriously.

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