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Flip of a switch

November 20, 2010

It has been a rough cycle in the Jnuts/Belle household.  Belle is on a new BC pill and she has been on her period for over 2 weeks.  WTF?  I’m on day 15ish(can’t really remember) with no orgasm.  This is a record for me.  I’m sure I haven’t gone this long since I was in 4th grade.  Mainly due to Belle’s hormonal state, this has been a very dry cycle.  We have played around twice (both of which I documented earlier).  She has had one orgasm and I have had one ruined orgasm.

There has been little or no teasing at all, physically or verbally, and this has taken its toll on my attitude towards the whole thing.  I was very frustrated that we got our device and Belle didn’t seem excited about it at all.  Also, 99% of the teasing via text while I was at work had stopped, and although we did talk about chastity daily, it was always in terms of what we had read on the forums or in someone’s blog, and very little mention of our situation at all.

The other day, Belle told me she thought she was starting to feel normal again, and that night I was mentally prepared for something…anything.  I don’t really remember everything that happened, but we ended up fooling around but I could tell she wasn’t into it, and that totally killed it for me as well.  We ended up having an hour long discussion/argument/fight.  I don’t really feel like detailing it because it is water under the bridge, but it was basically about how MC had been great and how it now sucked.  MC is about balance.  In order for it to work right, I need that sexual high.  I get that from T&D.  When I’m feeling that high, I’m extra attentive.  When Belle gets extra attention, she rewards me with T&D.  If we don’t both do our part, it doesn’t work.  Neither of us were really doing our part.  We decided to start over.  This was Thursday.

Friday morning I woke up and felt rejuvenated.  I made a conscious effort to try to help out more and to be nice to Belle.  I had a very rough day at work and was looking forward to coming home and just being with Belle and the kids.  Things were going ok and eventually we went to bed.  I was curled up with my wife and quite content.  She asked me if she could tell me something.  Of course she could.  She told me she felt bad because she was crampy.  I told her not to feel bad.  She is the boss afterall. I also told her that T&D didn’t mean she had to give me a 20 minute handjob.  I told her that it could be a 2 second tug on my balls or simply something verbal.  I also informed her that verbal is often better.  She said ok and went to sleep.

I woke up this morning in a bad mood.  I hadn’t been shown any attention in quite a while and I was seriously wondering why the hell I was doing this.  There is no sexual high.  There is no sex.  So what the fuck is the point?

I have looked forward to the weekends since starting this.  We do lead hectic lives and have limited time together during the week.  I always find myself hoping that since we are together all weekend that there will perhaps be some brief teasing, brushing up against me, knowing looks, mentions of my cock’s captivity, anything!  Belle was showing no signs of this at all.  Business as usual.  Pissed me off even more.

I went out to the garage to do a couple of things and when I came back in Belle was watching one of those “reality” shows about a couple of teenage dumbasses who never heard of birth control and get their own fucking TV show while they try to get someone to take their baby.  How worthless.  This set me off.

“Why the fuck do you watch this garbage?  Are you that bored?  These idiots do not deserve the boost in ratings you are giving them right now.”

Or something like that.

I got a look I’m familiar with.  The “what the fuck ever asshole” look.  I apologized.

“I’m just getting grumpy.”

As Belle went to take a shower, I was browsing the web on my iPhone, googling Male Chastity, and trying to find some kind of answer to this.  We both wanted to do this, but I can’t do this if Belle is not doing her part.  She is not going to want to do her part if I’m a lunatic.

I heard a noise and looked up from my phone.  Belle was walking towards me wrapped in a towel.  When she got to me she bent down and kissed me.  She grabbed my cock gently through my jeans and told me she loved me.

I was immediately better.

———————————————————————————————————-

I am a man living a chaste life.  I can be pleased sexually in two basic ways.

1.  Have sex with me.  Doesn’t just include intercourse.  Any kind of sexual activity counts.

2. Deny me.  If I want sex (and I always do), denial becomes a sexual activity.

Just please don’t ignore me.  There is nothing more depressing.  MC can be almost effortless.  I don’t need elaborate sexual escapades nightly.  I just need to know that we are in this together.  I need reminded that you care.

 

Jnuts

 

9 comments

  1. It is funny just how little it takes sometimes to get out of one of those funks. At times it just seems like everything is just spiraling down in to this deep dark depression that has no way out. Then just the tiniest crack allows that void to be filled with light. Did I mention that I ruminate?

    I am glad that you are better. I also hope that Belle gets her BC and period straightened out. Going on the pill was probably the worst thing my wife ever did. It took years to get everything straightened out. Well, actually she never got back to the way she was and that was over 20 years ago.

    -A


    • Working on getting the BC figured out, probably just gonna go off everything and get my tubes tied. I did not respond well to the hormones before when I took a couple different pills, Jnuts said they made me crazy 🙂 Now after back to back pregnancies my body is just flipping out.

      I really want to make this work for both of us, and I think (hope) he knows that.


      • He knows that. 🙂


  2. I think to be fair to yourselves, you have to remember you had a very stressful week in relation to chastity. The JB arrived after a long wait, it didn’t fit perfectly, jnuts got razor burn, Belle is feeling crampy. I am not surprised you are feeling like “Why the hell are we doing this?” Just remember that you can stop if you want/need to. I don’t think that’s what you want to do but I think it’s important to remember that this is voluntary and the option of taking a break always exists.

    D


    • We know. We don’t want to stop. We want it to be better. Things have been good the last day or so. No sex, so it isn’t just Belle giving in to shut me up. Just little things. The little things are more important IMO. I can go a week or two without a long T&D session. A week or two without attention, I couldn’t do.


  3. Don’t forget that for many of us, day 15 is around the peak of the Grumpy Cycle. The wives are the only ones who get hormonal! :-0

    mikecb

    PS: Tubes tied?!? Just send jnuts for the snip, snip! Who’s in charge, here?!? 😉


    • Ok…I’m going to unapprove this comment now. 😉

      I always tell Belle that if we get hard up for cash we will need my sperm to sell.


  4. Again, it’s like you and I are thinking the same things. I’m also on day 15 today. Our fight came three weeks ago and we are just now back to (somewhat) normal. The other night I realized it had been 7 days since anything at all (due to period). But I tried – and did – get much pleasure just from curling up next to her from behind and feeling the heat of her body against me and knowing she was in charge. And just that was enough.

    Michael


  5. In regards to the razor burn – – don’t shave! Get one of those little beard clippers and use that. It’s SO much better – no razor burn, but the hair will be gone. use the shortest clipper attachment, not the ‘electric razor’ attachment. Belle can use it to trim her pubic hair as well if she chooses, and depending on which model you buy, it may even have an attachment for nose hair (ours does, haha!).
    Hope this helps.



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