Locked and Loaded.

November 29, 2010

Jailbird is back on.  Much tighter this time.  Gonna take some getting used to. 

I’m so ready to cum.  It is almost to the point of being a little depressed.  I’m not sure what the hell is going on.  This was just a weird cycle.  Device, no device, device.  New BC pill, another new BC pill.  No sex drive for Belle, crazy sex, no sex drive for Belle.  To be honest, I was excited to get the device back but now I’m kind of indifferent about it.  I’m wearing it, but it means I’m not getting any until Saturday which sucks.  It sucks bad. 

The kids have been very fussy at night and that has not helped.  I am excited about this weekend but Belle is going through some anxiety about it.  I can relate. Hopefully it will pass by the time the weekend gets here.

I am torn between wanting play and not wanting play.  I really really want it, but I won’t be allowed to cum.  I don’t know which is worse at this point.  I know for a fact I wouldn’t pass some teasing up though.  I wonder if maybe I’m feeling this way because of the lack very much play.  I do hope Belle’s new pill evens things out. 

None of this really matters now though.  I’m at the mercy of my keyholder.  And now she is actually holding a key.  Aside from the slip up with the fleshlight, I haven’t had much temptation to touch myself.  At least now that is one less thing to worry about. 


One comment

  1. Hang in there. I think the extra hormones make it more difficult to cope. The nice thing about jacking off is, when you’re done, you’ve also released some tension. We *are* wired that way and by subverting the urge to come we’re making our brains deal with a situation they’re ill-prepared for.

    As a former president used to say, I feel your pain.

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