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Lack of a better term.

December 14, 2010

I sometimes find myself wanting to call my wife “Mistress.”   This term doesn’t really fit, since we are not in a traditional D/S relationship.  There are sometimes however, like when she rolls over and tells me to go to sleep after playing with my cage, where a name that shows respect if not submission would be warranted.   It has been made clear that Belle does not want to be in a master/slave relationship and I very much agree with her.  While there are sometimes in bed I would like to be treated that way, that is not the norm and is not the relationship that I would like to be in.  I would however like a term that is a bit more casual than Mistress but is still more formal than nothing at all.  Maybe it is being locked in this cage, but I have more of a desire to be obedient than before.

Belle unlocked me very briefly today for a quick inspection.  I was feeling some burning on the underside of my sack last night and I couldn’t see it myself.  She unlocked me and checked things out.  I was a little red in some spots.  Nothing that can’t be put up with but she did say I could stay out of the device while she took a shower.

“Behave.”

While it is implied that I have no right nor permission to touch myself while unlocked, hearing her enforce the rule made a big difference.  I’m glad I wasn’t in the Jailbird because I was hard instantly.  Damnit, I’m hard now thinking about it. Anyway…

We have adopted a new rule.  Thanks to Thumper’s latest blog we now have a waiting period.  Aside from pain, I am not to ask to be removed from my device.  If I do, I will be made to wait 12 hours.  At the end of the 12 hours, if I still wish for my device to be removed, it will be.  This will be used to enforce any fleeting feelings I may have of chastity not being worth it.  Sometimes that creeps into your head and you just want the damn thing off.  If this does happen and it is removed, I’m sure it will not be without consequences.  The most dire of which would be loss of the illusion of her control and ruining a key element of the game.  I certainly don’t want that to ever happen, and hopefully that 12 hours will talk me down.

I’m in a weird place right now.  I’m still in the “I want release but I don’t want release” stage.  I know that in itself is not strange but the intensity of both sides of this mental tug of war is incredible.  Part of me want’s my Belle to take the device off and ride me until I explode inside her.  The other part wants her to keep me orgasmless for months with only the occasional milking session to relieve the pressure.  Even ruined orgasms are a bit too pleasurable for what I deserve.  If we do try a ruined orgasm again, I would like it to be inside of her.  I want to be made to clean her afterward.  I have always wanted to do this and Belle has always been too nice to force it…which is what needs done after an orgasm.  With a ruined orgasm I think I can do it without hesitation.  A hand on the back of my head forcing it would be nice though.  Especially if she didn’t have the chance to get off before hand.  Finishing her with my mouth while my hot cum drips out of her would be excellent.

Milking.  We have never been able to pull this off.  However I don’t think we were doing it right.  We have not tried it in the context of chastity before and I somehow think it would be much easier now.  Ideally, milking me while I was locked in my cage would be the way to go.  No stroking, no pleasure, just the feeling of all that cum being unceremoniously drained from my balls.  Being made to clean up afterwords would again be awesome.  I really hope Belle begins to enjoy that because the less I cum, the more I seem to want it.  I guess that is the one little bit of the humiliation fetish that I do subscribe to.

I’ve been without orgasm for 8 days and locked in this device for 6.  There is no end in sight.  That is both exciting and torturous at the same time.  As Belle would say, “You’ll get over it.”

Jnuts

10 comments

  1. I sometimes find myself wanting to call my wife “Mistress.”

    I felt the same desire early one (even wrote a blog post about it), but neither of us felt comfortable with “Mistress”. Eventually, the nicknames we use on the blog transmogrified into what we use in our dynamic. When she calls me Thumper, she’s letting me know she’s in her position of authority and when I call her Belle Fille, I’m letting her know I’m in my opposite position.


  2. I am finding that I am getting called lots of names: Mistress, Princes, Goddess, my Queen…at first I bristled a bit because, like you, I didn’t like the baggage that came with the use of these terms (Master/slave, D/s, etc). But over the past month or so, my attitude has changed. How Ab and I use the terms is between us, not anyone else, so what does it matter if he calls me Mistress? I know what it means to me and no one else will hear/know. Plus, it does convey a certain level of respect which frankly, I am coming to expect. Even if I don’t consider our relationship “true” D/s (whatever that means), as liked2blocked has said, giving up the key is, in and of itself, a submissive act and in that way, Ab is submissive to me. So, I have learned to appreciate the honorific.

    I’ll probably blog about this. Thanks for the inspiration!

    D


  3. I can not stand the term Mistress for other reasons. I would prefer being called Belle at those times, it is far enough removed from my real name to keep the illusion. We need another name for Jnuts, because that is just stupid 🙂

    Belle


    • Will do. 🙂

      You can call me whatever you want. 😉


  4. *****

    probably wouldn’t go over too well, huh.

    I have been thinking about asking anyway so here goes, where did the name jnuts come from?

    -A

    p.s. I got smart and redacted my suggestion for a name before submitting this comment.


    • Bastardized version of an old nickname that I’ve used on sites where I want to remain anonymous. At the time, I didn’t think I would be posting much. Had I known this was going to be a lifestyle change I would have picked something less retarded.


    • Atone-I would prefer bitch over Mistress any day 🙂


      • I think I’ll pass on that.


      • where did that come from? I was thinking sweety.

        -A


  5. […] Your Keyholder Jnuts wrote a blog post here where he commented he wanted to call his wife “Mistress.” He wasn’t entirely […]



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