a real life break?

January 7, 2011

Real life has a way of really messing with your fun.  Jnuts and I had been having some issues, mostly focused around what I have begun referring to as the “chastity circle”.  I don’t play enough and keep him interested and worked up, he doesn’t help me out around the house more because he isn’t in the heightened state, therefore I don’t play, ect.  It is a tough one to break, but because we both were invested in MC and want to see it work for us, we decided we had to.

I have been against chastity contracts since we began investigating MC.  To me it makes it seem like our sex life is a business arrangement, but now I see the need to have needs and expectations in a written format.  I pledged to have at least 2 play sessions per week.  This may not seem like much to many of you, but given our lives it is going to take some work some weeks.  At this point that is the end of the agreement.  We both feel that this will break the cycle that we are currently in, and take us back to the point where we both saw the  benefits of MC.

That was last week…..Jnuts was locked and things appeared to be improving.  Then something very strange happened.  His step brother, whom we have very little contact with but is extremely close with his step dad and mom, was arrested and admitted to sexually abusing his 14 year old daughter multiple times.  The whole family is turned upside down, we are contacting people multiple times a day due to risk of hurting themselves over this, and we are all pretty  much in shock.  Last night when Jnuts came home from work, he asked to be unlocked.  He said he felt “dirty” wearing the device and anything having to do with sex.  I quickly agreed, because to be honest I felt the same way.  Pretty sad how someone who you are not close with yet tied to can change your personal life so much.  We are not sure when we will continue with MC, but we know that we will.



  1. Oh my God, that’s terrible news for your family. I am sending virtual hugs to both of you {{{jnuts}}} {{{Belle}}}.

    However, you bring up a very good point that has crossed my mind more than once. It’s great to say “We’re going to do chastity forever,” but we need to remember that life marches on and sometimes throws us curveballs that we don’t expect. We need to re-evaluate our priorities in light of unanticipated events and chastity might fall pretty low on the list–even sex.

    I hope things hold together in your family and extended family and know that I am thinking about you both.


  2. Thanks Dev, the whole thing is a little surreal. I have worked with offenders and victims for years, but it is totally different when it becomes personal.

    As for the taking a break for a bit, we see it as that- a break. When we can focus on ourselves a bit more, it goes back on. It just feels healthier this way.

  3. I was so glad to see a new post on your blog, but very saddened to read of your situation. As an older adult I know first hand how life can throw curve balls at you quite unexpectedly. Often times it takes awhile to come to grips with these kinds of events. My experience is that with love, understanding, and compassion we eventually get through these things. On rare occasions we may even be stronger for them.
    I agree that taking a break for awhile is the best course. Once you’re past this speed bump on the road of life you’ll be able to get back to your life as you knew it.

  4. So sorry to hear of the problems at home. Wishing you strength as you work through the issues.


  5. How sad when something completely unexpected like this can tear a family apart. Your love for each other will give you the strength to get through this.

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