In the beginning…

Here I sit. Locked up again after a day and a half off. This isn’t easy. I feel like such a noob everytime I start over at day zero.

I wish I wouldn’t have cum last night. My brain knew it wasn’t the right thing to do, but my cock took over. Technically I would have been starting over anyway because I had an orgasm the night before…but it wasn’t the big number 2. The thought of going another several weeks without the big one did a number on me and I had to have it.

The number really doesn’t matter. I think I get to hung up on it. Who cares how many days? Why do I have to have an app on my phone where I keep track of my last orgasm? This isn’t a race. It isn’t a pissing contest (speaking of…still want golden shower Belle…please?).

I do like knowing exactly how long it has been so when Belle asks me during a T&D session, I don’t have to search for an answer. I also like getting past that first week or so because that is when I start to level off and really start to worship my wife without thinking of myself.

I just really wish we could skip the first week. It is hell. I wonder if there is anything that could launch me right into the state of mind that the second week always brings? Would tease and denial every night for the first week do it? I imagine it would get me very horny which may in fact help me kick this blah feeling I have right now. Who knows?

I won’t be finding out this cycle. Belle is still under the weather. I hope she gets better quick and we can get back to the glory that was last cycle. We have a new toy on the counter, two more on the way, and then two more after that that she ordered at the bachelorette party. Can’t slow down now!

-Jnuts