Forgive me readers for I have bitched…

September 22, 2011

It is insane how I feel the need to confess to you guys when I fuck up. It nags at me until I do it so here goes…

Belle had sent me some texts yesterday telling me that we would play that night. Of course this got me all worked up.

Unfortunately we had a long night due to some things we had to get done and she asked me if I would be mad if I got a raincheck.

Let us examine that statement shall we?

First off, what am I going to say? “Yes. That will piss me straight the fuck off.”

Probably not the best idea. My response to her was of course in the negative. My attitude didn’t reflect it though. Being only 3 days in, the hormones aren’t quite balanced yet. For about a half an hour, I was a total dick. I gave her the silent treatment and refused to make eye contact. I knew I was being an ass. I should have stopped but I didn’t. I wanted to be that way. Not for long. I knew I would get over it quickly, but for the time being, I wanted to be grumpy.

What was it that set me off? I guess a mixture of things.

There is the obvious withdrawl of promised playtime. That is her right. My sex life belongs to her.

I was hoping we would be using one of our new toys so I would have something new to review. No excuse, there is always tomorrow.

Then there was the less obvious. She gave me permission to get pissed. Had she just told me that it was late and playtime would be postponed, I still would have been dissapointed but I wouldn’t have shown it. By her asking if I would be mad, she gave me a say in it. I honestly think this is why I had a chip on my shoulder.

Like I said, it passed quickly. I apologised and all was well.

I guess that is just life when your dick is in a cage. Is this first week over yet?!?



  1. 100% know what you mean, it would be so much better if she just said, ‘I have decided that we are not doing this tonight’, wouldn’t it?

  2. Slightly different perspective- I often ask hub if he’s ok (or not with) something. If he answers along the lines of “you’re the Domme, it’s up to you isn’t it” he can often get a sharp retort. I’m very well aware that it’s up to me but I’m interested in his reactions and his point of view. That’s not me abdicating control, that’s communicating about two very different sides of the same coin. Perhaps your wife was simply checking what your reaction would be, regardless of her decision. Generalizing wildly here – men favour direct communication whereas women communicate with an eye to avoiding offense. It’s the old story of when a women says “darling, would you mind taking the rubbish out” a foolish man responds “yes I would mind, the football is on”. An intelligent man hears the direct request implied and smilingly takes the rubbish out. Then gets more sex from his happy wife. The foolish man wonders why the ambient atmospheric temperature has dropped 15 degrees when all he doing was honestly answering his wife’s question.

    Ofcourse you mind not playing. “Tough shit” is your wife’s response. Happily assured of your place in the scheme of things, everyone is happy 🙂

    • I see your point. I know in Belle’s case she was just being polite. It isn’t necessary though.

  3. I have to commend you on this one. We (as subs or chaste, or whatever we choose call ourselves) don’t really want to be asked about sex. I, for one, hate it when Mistress teases me about something she would like to do to me, then asks, “Would you like that?” I know she is just teasing me, but I hate answering those kinds of questions. Don’t ask me… Just do it, if you want to.


    • Agreed. Similar to last night. I was rubbing Belle’s shoulders and asked her if she wanted a massage. Her response was “If you don’t mind.” I know she was being polite but if I minded I wouldn’t have asked and regardless, if I was told to I would have done it anyway.

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