Posts Tagged ‘Sexual arousal’

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Re-inventing Belle

January 23, 2011

As Jnuts noted in the previous blog, I am going to try to meet him half way in his desire to dabble in a D/S relationship.  Those of you who have read some of earlier blogs will understand why this is a difficult thing for me.  I struggle with the power that MC gives me, so being the Domme in our relationship is a huge step.    I used my Fetlife profile to establish a persona for Belle……

I am Belle, the alter ego of a very vanilla, white collar professional turned SAHM. She is uncomfortable addressing some of her husbands more kinky desires, and that is where I step in. She was struggling with his desire to be locked in chastity and denied. She felt bad telling him no and teasing then denying. I do not. I don’t have the hang ups of past relationships that messed with her head. He wants smacked around a little while wearing a dog collar? I am game. He wants pissed on while I shower? Sure, won’t hurt me at all. It will be about me when I want it to be, not when she thinks it should be. I am not into receiving pain, but I can and will dish it out. He always said he wanted her to be the bitch she was at work in the bedroom. Well I am here now. Let’s hope he realized what he was wishing for.

Jnuts has not met Belle yet, but he has received several messages from her, and will be meeting her soon.

Belle

 

 

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a real life break?

January 7, 2011

Real life has a way of really messing with your fun.  Jnuts and I had been having some issues, mostly focused around what I have begun referring to as the “chastity circle”.  I don’t play enough and keep him interested and worked up, he doesn’t help me out around the house more because he isn’t in the heightened state, therefore I don’t play, ect.  It is a tough one to break, but because we both were invested in MC and want to see it work for us, we decided we had to.

I have been against chastity contracts since we began investigating MC.  To me it makes it seem like our sex life is a business arrangement, but now I see the need to have needs and expectations in a written format.  I pledged to have at least 2 play sessions per week.  This may not seem like much to many of you, but given our lives it is going to take some work some weeks.  At this point that is the end of the agreement.  We both feel that this will break the cycle that we are currently in, and take us back to the point where we both saw the  benefits of MC.

That was last week…..Jnuts was locked and things appeared to be improving.  Then something very strange happened.  His step brother, whom we have very little contact with but is extremely close with his step dad and mom, was arrested and admitted to sexually abusing his 14 year old daughter multiple times.  The whole family is turned upside down, we are contacting people multiple times a day due to risk of hurting themselves over this, and we are all pretty  much in shock.  Last night when Jnuts came home from work, he asked to be unlocked.  He said he felt “dirty” wearing the device and anything having to do with sex.  I quickly agreed, because to be honest I felt the same way.  Pretty sad how someone who you are not close with yet tied to can change your personal life so much.  We are not sure when we will continue with MC, but we know that we will.

Belle

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Me so horny.

December 10, 2010

What a difference a day makes.

Belle and I had a conversation via IM after she read my blog.  Yes, we were in the same room for most of it. Long story short, neither of us were getting what we needed out of chastity and it was depressing us both.  I was feeling 0 sexual tension, and as a result(and other factors), I wasn’t really doing much to help her out or make her happy.  This was a cycle that needed broken, or MC was going to stop.  

She told me she had planned to play around last night and was still up for it if I was.  Sure I was.  Then our oldest daughter decided she wasn’t going to sleep.  😦  Being on the early shift, I headed to bed, alone as usual. I was out within 5 minutes.

Some unknown amount of time later, I feel some tugging on my balls.  I’m told to roll over on my back so she could reach me easily.  Fuck yes!  I was still mostly asleep and the details are very foggy, but I remember thinking how awesome it was.  This was really some of the first play I’ve had while being locked up.  It is very much a double-edged sword.  In no time, I was hard as hell and my balls felt like they were going to be pulled off, but I didn’t want it to stop.  I needed this like I’ve never needed anything before.  I made a bee-line for her pussy.  She let me taste her but only for a minute.  I was then told to go to sleep.  The pleasure of denial!  Of course I couldn’t go right to sleep.  I had to get up and pee first.  I had never been this hard in my cage before.  What a trip.  I really wish the cage was a bit smaller so it couldn’t get to that point because it is quite painful.  

I woke up this morning horny as hell.  There was absolutely nothing I could do about it.  This is real chastity.  I have not felt like this since our first week of the honor system.  So what did I do instead of getting ready for work?  I watched porn on my iPhone.  Nothing crazy, just straight vanilla sex.  God I was jealous!  I was watching this wife suck her man off and I was insanely jealous.  I want that so bad!  I last came on Sunday so I know it is going to be a while before I cum again and that makes it even worse.  On the other hand I’m quite glad I have no access right now, because the way I feel, this would be a lot rougher with the honor system.  Although with the honor system, I wouldn’t have quite the ache that I have in my balls right now.  

I would do anything to cum right now.  Belle has me right where I’m pretty sure she wants me.  The question is, how is she going to play this?

Jnuts

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Flip of a switch

November 20, 2010

It has been a rough cycle in the Jnuts/Belle household.  Belle is on a new BC pill and she has been on her period for over 2 weeks.  WTF?  I’m on day 15ish(can’t really remember) with no orgasm.  This is a record for me.  I’m sure I haven’t gone this long since I was in 4th grade.  Mainly due to Belle’s hormonal state, this has been a very dry cycle.  We have played around twice (both of which I documented earlier).  She has had one orgasm and I have had one ruined orgasm.

There has been little or no teasing at all, physically or verbally, and this has taken its toll on my attitude towards the whole thing.  I was very frustrated that we got our device and Belle didn’t seem excited about it at all.  Also, 99% of the teasing via text while I was at work had stopped, and although we did talk about chastity daily, it was always in terms of what we had read on the forums or in someone’s blog, and very little mention of our situation at all.

The other day, Belle told me she thought she was starting to feel normal again, and that night I was mentally prepared for something…anything.  I don’t really remember everything that happened, but we ended up fooling around but I could tell she wasn’t into it, and that totally killed it for me as well.  We ended up having an hour long discussion/argument/fight.  I don’t really feel like detailing it because it is water under the bridge, but it was basically about how MC had been great and how it now sucked.  MC is about balance.  In order for it to work right, I need that sexual high.  I get that from T&D.  When I’m feeling that high, I’m extra attentive.  When Belle gets extra attention, she rewards me with T&D.  If we don’t both do our part, it doesn’t work.  Neither of us were really doing our part.  We decided to start over.  This was Thursday.

Friday morning I woke up and felt rejuvenated.  I made a conscious effort to try to help out more and to be nice to Belle.  I had a very rough day at work and was looking forward to coming home and just being with Belle and the kids.  Things were going ok and eventually we went to bed.  I was curled up with my wife and quite content.  She asked me if she could tell me something.  Of course she could.  She told me she felt bad because she was crampy.  I told her not to feel bad.  She is the boss afterall. I also told her that T&D didn’t mean she had to give me a 20 minute handjob.  I told her that it could be a 2 second tug on my balls or simply something verbal.  I also informed her that verbal is often better.  She said ok and went to sleep.

I woke up this morning in a bad mood.  I hadn’t been shown any attention in quite a while and I was seriously wondering why the hell I was doing this.  There is no sexual high.  There is no sex.  So what the fuck is the point?

I have looked forward to the weekends since starting this.  We do lead hectic lives and have limited time together during the week.  I always find myself hoping that since we are together all weekend that there will perhaps be some brief teasing, brushing up against me, knowing looks, mentions of my cock’s captivity, anything!  Belle was showing no signs of this at all.  Business as usual.  Pissed me off even more.

I went out to the garage to do a couple of things and when I came back in Belle was watching one of those “reality” shows about a couple of teenage dumbasses who never heard of birth control and get their own fucking TV show while they try to get someone to take their baby.  How worthless.  This set me off.

“Why the fuck do you watch this garbage?  Are you that bored?  These idiots do not deserve the boost in ratings you are giving them right now.”

Or something like that.

I got a look I’m familiar with.  The “what the fuck ever asshole” look.  I apologized.

“I’m just getting grumpy.”

As Belle went to take a shower, I was browsing the web on my iPhone, googling Male Chastity, and trying to find some kind of answer to this.  We both wanted to do this, but I can’t do this if Belle is not doing her part.  She is not going to want to do her part if I’m a lunatic.

I heard a noise and looked up from my phone.  Belle was walking towards me wrapped in a towel.  When she got to me she bent down and kissed me.  She grabbed my cock gently through my jeans and told me she loved me.

I was immediately better.

———————————————————————————————————-

I am a man living a chaste life.  I can be pleased sexually in two basic ways.

1.  Have sex with me.  Doesn’t just include intercourse.  Any kind of sexual activity counts.

2. Deny me.  If I want sex (and I always do), denial becomes a sexual activity.

Just please don’t ignore me.  There is nothing more depressing.  MC can be almost effortless.  I don’t need elaborate sexual escapades nightly.  I just need to know that we are in this together.  I need reminded that you care.

 

Jnuts

 

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Finally! Under lock and key!

November 14, 2010

It has arrived! My Jailbird showed up yesterday. We had stopped at home to wipe Belle’s iPhone since we had sold it. As I was wiping it, the mail came. It was a surprise since we didn’t get an email that it was shipped. In all the excitement, I locked the keys in the house. So we were stuck outside with no house key, and only a spare car key for the car we were not in. We switched the girls to the other car and went to Belle’s parent’s house where there was a spare key. The reason I just told you all of this is because the locks and keys were locked in our house. So I finally had a CB and no lock! That would not do. So I ended up putting it on and securing it with a twisty tie. You can just call me McGuyver. This at least gave me a feel for the device despite the cage rotating quite a bit. We wanted to run to the mall so we swung back by the house and grabbed a lock. We got the lock in place and Belle snapped it shut. WOW! What a feeling!

I have been wearing the device ever since aside from taking it off for a minute to measure the ring. For the most part it is comfortable. I have found that the base ring does not fit as tight as the sizing ring and I’m not sure why. I measured the ring and it is the right size. I have emailed Bill about getting it adjusted or getting a new ring.

I did find that I can pull out very easily and slide back in as well. A smaller ring should help with this.

Before bed last night, Belle did a bit of playing. The ring did pull on my balls but it did not hurt. It was a very weird feeling and I now understand what everyone means about the erection being partially internal. This is going to be fun!

Sleeping wasn’t bad at all. I did wake up a few times because of some pulling but no big deal.

Peeing…yeah, I’ll be sitting down to pee from now on. The angle is fine but the bars are a bitch.

I do love the feel of being locked up. Thus far everything has felt a bit half-assed. We are actually doing it now. This is a whole new ball game. Knowing I’m locked up and it isn’t just a matter of Belle rolling over and stroking me to the edge makes things a lot more difficult. I’m locked up. I’m in chastity now.

Jnuts

Ps. Photobucket already removed my pics. Where can I host pics that won’t get removed?

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Orgasm? No thanks, I’m good?!?!

November 6, 2010

Yes, I turned down an orgasm. I know, I know… “You idiot!!!”

There were actually several reasons for throwing myself under this bus. Lets take a look at them. In no particular order…

-My balls felt so drained! I’ve gotten used to and grown to like the feeling of being full. Getting to cum three nights in a row left me with a very empty and weak feeling down there. Was probably more psychological than anything.

– Too much focus on me. The first time I came was about both of us. The other two times was totally focused on me. It felt like a total role reversal from what we were doing and while it was ok at first, I felt a little greedy.

-I was starting to see that this was a bit much for Belle. She does have a lower sex drive afterall. Well I’m getting worn out so there is no way she can keep this pace. I didn’t want her doing things for the hell of it, that is what put us here in the first place.

-I had that “fell off the wagon” feeling. I desperately want to get back in the swing of things. I crave denial. I want to be good and horny when the jailbird arrives. Belle casually threw a 3 week timeframe out there. I doubt she has a date in mind yet but that is very exciting.

-I’m tired. This early shift is kicking my ass. I want to be able to just lay down, cuddle up with Belle, and go to sleep. Sorry, just want to take advantage of some of this new found closeness.

Will I regret this later? Probably. Will she be bringing it up occasionally to taunt me? I hope so. 😉

Oh Jailbird… where are you?

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An unusual request

November 5, 2010

Jnuts is currently on reprieve from his “lock down”, and has been since Tuesday night.  The plan was that he was to have one more night to orgasm and and then tomorrow morning we are back to the honor system lock down until the device comes.  A quick rundown of the last few nights. 1) Tuesday night was intercourse with him cumming inside of me.  2) Wednesday night was a hand job laying in bed.  3) Thursday night was a combination blow job, hand job ending with him cumming on his stomach.  The plan for tonight was intercourse again, one of 2 positions-both of which he loves and gets more stimulation than I do from.  He was given the opportunity to pick.  Afterall, I don’t want to call ALL the shots 🙂   About an hour after discussing this, we were driving down the road and the conversation something close to this…

“Can I make a suggestion regarding sex and my lockups?”   -Jnuts

“Sure”  -Belle

“No more 4 days releases.  I am tired.”  -Jnuts

I will admit I laughed.  I told him that if he didn’t want to cum tonight, that was his choice.  I said that I wanted him to have a few days off to do what he pleased, because I still kinda feel bad about the whole limiting his orgasms thing.  I admitted that I was in a so-so mood, so it didn’t matter to me if we started his new lock up period a day earlier.  I am actually somewhat relieved.  4 days in a row is a lot for me too.   We agreed that his lock up started this morning, and will end at my discretion.  At this point I don’t know when it will be, but I know it won’t be before our jailbird arrives from MM.

Sorry guys, no sex post from us tonight.  However Thumper has a great one over at his blog, check it out on the right!